Self Image
She screwed up her nose as she leaned in closer to stare at herself in the mirror. She looked at the wrinkles that formed around her eyes and on the bridge of her nose and considered that perhaps it was an improvement. She sighed and relaxed her face, maintaining her hunched up posture as she continued to examine her features. She felt herself cringe internally as she pinpointed the parts of her appearance that she wished she could change on the spot.
Her mouth was wonky. Her bottom lip was slightly further to the left than the top, so when she had her mouth closed, it just all looked slightly off balance. She attempted a small smile but stopped almost immediately. She didn’t like the way it made her fatty, rosy cheeks puff up so much. Not to mention her awful teeth with their weird shapes. She’d recently noticed that she possessed a slight under bite, and now she couldn’t stop noticing it.
Her nose had a weirdly bulbous tip and flared up red most of the time, though it didn’t help that spots often crept up in that area. She readjusted her gaze to focus on the eyes that were staring back at her. Their blue-with-a-hint-of-green colour was the best thing about them, though the puffy eyelids around them and the dark circles underneath completely ruined the effect. She sighed as she ran her fingers through her fringe, pulling it back so it rested in line with the rest of her hair. It hung to just below her shoulders in layered waves, though the wiry strands made it look and feel like a mess of rough fuzz, rather than neat and soft. It didn’t seem to have an identifiable colour either. It was a gross mix of dirty blonde and light brown, which made it look like it was in constant need of a good wash. Ugh.
Someone had once told her that she should dye it. She'd thought about it but knew that even that wouldn't suit her. Thinking about it, that was the same person who'd said she should get a belly button piercing and that coloured contact lenses would be a good look for her, so maybe their judgement wasn't the best to work from.
Taking a step back allowed for the rest of her body to come into view. It only took the one step because of how short she was. She wished she had longer, leaner legs - hers were stumpy, and her thighs were massive. She’d seen guys with better legs than her - I mean, have you seen Dougie Poynter's?! Mmm. She was wearing her favourite pair of pyjama bottoms, the ones that were loose enough for them to be rolled up to her knees, perfect for today’s stuffy weather. But this meant that her awful knees were in full view. She pulled at the skin on them, stretching it out, trying to get rid of the ugly faces that seemed to appear in them. Nope, that didn’t seem to make much difference.
With a sigh, she let her arms fall to her sides, straightening up as much as she could. She twisted one way and then the other, thinking that a different angle might make her figure look just a little better. Hm. No such luck. She poked a finger at the podge around her stomach and frowned. She could do with losing a bit of weight. She wasn't as active as she probably should be – it’s safe to say that P.E was her least favourite subject in school. Maybe she should lay off the chocolate Malted Milk biscuits for a while as well.
She reached her hands round to grab at her fleshy bum cheeks and lifted them slightly higher. Eurgh. She wished her arse were firmer, and just a bit more gravity defying. And her hips – just look at them! She turned to be face-on with the mirror once more and glared at how much they jutted out from the rest of her body. In fact, they seemed to be more prominent than her boobs were, the minuteness of which didn’t really help her feel less childish.
She slumped herself to the floor, crossing her legs and letting out another huffy sigh. Most of the time she was able to trundle along without worrying what she looked like. A few grips in her hair and a dab or two of shadow on her eyelids would be enough to make her feel like she looked mildly acceptable for work and going out with friends. Maybe that's just what happened when she didn't have time to worry.
Now and again, someone might compliment her in one way or another: lots of people had commented on how lovely her current nail colour was and someone had once told her that her hair was 'gorgeous'. Her mum regularly declared that she was the 'prettiest girl around', in the biased way mothers do. But whenever anything like that was said, she always had trouble believing it. She couldn't help it - it was just part of her nature.
Whenever anything positive was said about her, she would deny it. She worried that it probably seemed like it was out of modesty, or that she was fishing for compliments. But in all honesty, she just felt like she couldn't go along with something she really didn't believe to be true. Especially not when it came to days like today, when she didn’t really have any distractions, so it would dawn on her just how crappy she actually looked. As much as she tried, nothing would change that - well, other than major plastic surgery, and who had time for that? Nope, she'd just have to accept that this is how she looked, and continue to try to embrace it (and disguise it) as much as possible. How hard could it be?
*BUZZ* *BUZZ*
The sound of her phone vibrating on her bed tore her from her thoughts. She stretched her arm out to grab it, keeping herself in her seated position as her long fingers curled around the mobile. She pressed the home button once to light up the notifications screen, expecting to see a new update from one of the celebrities she followed on Twitter. Surprisingly though, the alert on the screen was accompanied by a green and white speech bubble symbol to indicate a new text message, as opposed to a white bird against a blue background. Her belly flipped in the way it always did at the sight of that image, before her eyes had even focused on the message itself or who it was from. But when they did, she couldn't control the smile that spread across her face. She knew it was silly that something so simple could conjure such a reaction, but she felt like she couldn't help it.
Suddenly her feelings of negativity towards herself had faded into the background. She relaxed her shoulders and let out a quiet hum of contentedness. To feel so at ease almost instantly like this was something that had started happening more frequently, and she rather liked it. She brought her free hand to her mouth, covering the goofiness of her grin as she read the words again, butterflies letting themselves loose inside her belly once more.
Hey cutie! :) xxx
Her mouth was wonky. Her bottom lip was slightly further to the left than the top, so when she had her mouth closed, it just all looked slightly off balance. She attempted a small smile but stopped almost immediately. She didn’t like the way it made her fatty, rosy cheeks puff up so much. Not to mention her awful teeth with their weird shapes. She’d recently noticed that she possessed a slight under bite, and now she couldn’t stop noticing it.
Her nose had a weirdly bulbous tip and flared up red most of the time, though it didn’t help that spots often crept up in that area. She readjusted her gaze to focus on the eyes that were staring back at her. Their blue-with-a-hint-of-green colour was the best thing about them, though the puffy eyelids around them and the dark circles underneath completely ruined the effect. She sighed as she ran her fingers through her fringe, pulling it back so it rested in line with the rest of her hair. It hung to just below her shoulders in layered waves, though the wiry strands made it look and feel like a mess of rough fuzz, rather than neat and soft. It didn’t seem to have an identifiable colour either. It was a gross mix of dirty blonde and light brown, which made it look like it was in constant need of a good wash. Ugh.
Someone had once told her that she should dye it. She'd thought about it but knew that even that wouldn't suit her. Thinking about it, that was the same person who'd said she should get a belly button piercing and that coloured contact lenses would be a good look for her, so maybe their judgement wasn't the best to work from.
Taking a step back allowed for the rest of her body to come into view. It only took the one step because of how short she was. She wished she had longer, leaner legs - hers were stumpy, and her thighs were massive. She’d seen guys with better legs than her - I mean, have you seen Dougie Poynter's?! Mmm. She was wearing her favourite pair of pyjama bottoms, the ones that were loose enough for them to be rolled up to her knees, perfect for today’s stuffy weather. But this meant that her awful knees were in full view. She pulled at the skin on them, stretching it out, trying to get rid of the ugly faces that seemed to appear in them. Nope, that didn’t seem to make much difference.
With a sigh, she let her arms fall to her sides, straightening up as much as she could. She twisted one way and then the other, thinking that a different angle might make her figure look just a little better. Hm. No such luck. She poked a finger at the podge around her stomach and frowned. She could do with losing a bit of weight. She wasn't as active as she probably should be – it’s safe to say that P.E was her least favourite subject in school. Maybe she should lay off the chocolate Malted Milk biscuits for a while as well.
She reached her hands round to grab at her fleshy bum cheeks and lifted them slightly higher. Eurgh. She wished her arse were firmer, and just a bit more gravity defying. And her hips – just look at them! She turned to be face-on with the mirror once more and glared at how much they jutted out from the rest of her body. In fact, they seemed to be more prominent than her boobs were, the minuteness of which didn’t really help her feel less childish.
She slumped herself to the floor, crossing her legs and letting out another huffy sigh. Most of the time she was able to trundle along without worrying what she looked like. A few grips in her hair and a dab or two of shadow on her eyelids would be enough to make her feel like she looked mildly acceptable for work and going out with friends. Maybe that's just what happened when she didn't have time to worry.
Now and again, someone might compliment her in one way or another: lots of people had commented on how lovely her current nail colour was and someone had once told her that her hair was 'gorgeous'. Her mum regularly declared that she was the 'prettiest girl around', in the biased way mothers do. But whenever anything like that was said, she always had trouble believing it. She couldn't help it - it was just part of her nature.
Whenever anything positive was said about her, she would deny it. She worried that it probably seemed like it was out of modesty, or that she was fishing for compliments. But in all honesty, she just felt like she couldn't go along with something she really didn't believe to be true. Especially not when it came to days like today, when she didn’t really have any distractions, so it would dawn on her just how crappy she actually looked. As much as she tried, nothing would change that - well, other than major plastic surgery, and who had time for that? Nope, she'd just have to accept that this is how she looked, and continue to try to embrace it (and disguise it) as much as possible. How hard could it be?
*BUZZ* *BUZZ*
The sound of her phone vibrating on her bed tore her from her thoughts. She stretched her arm out to grab it, keeping herself in her seated position as her long fingers curled around the mobile. She pressed the home button once to light up the notifications screen, expecting to see a new update from one of the celebrities she followed on Twitter. Surprisingly though, the alert on the screen was accompanied by a green and white speech bubble symbol to indicate a new text message, as opposed to a white bird against a blue background. Her belly flipped in the way it always did at the sight of that image, before her eyes had even focused on the message itself or who it was from. But when they did, she couldn't control the smile that spread across her face. She knew it was silly that something so simple could conjure such a reaction, but she felt like she couldn't help it.
Suddenly her feelings of negativity towards herself had faded into the background. She relaxed her shoulders and let out a quiet hum of contentedness. To feel so at ease almost instantly like this was something that had started happening more frequently, and she rather liked it. She brought her free hand to her mouth, covering the goofiness of her grin as she read the words again, butterflies letting themselves loose inside her belly once more.
Hey cutie! :) xxx